Morning Show Shelli's Movie Reviews

 

Machete Kills

Machete Kills

As a fan of director Robert Rodriguez, especially his "Grindhouse" double feature with Quentin Tarantino a few years back, ("Death Proof" and Planet Terror"), I was looking forward to seeing "Machete Kills." Danny Trejo stars as Machete who is recruited by the President of the United States (Charlie Sheen, yes Charlie Sheen!) to track down and dispose of an insane revolutionary and a sick filthy rich arms dealer, whose goal is to spread hate and war across the planet. If anyone can do it, Machete can. I forget how many times he was shot, and lived, but it seems you can't kill Machete. Which is why the sequel is called "Machete Kills Again, In Outer Space." Look, this is as silly and B movie as you can get. The stabbings, beheadings, shootings and blood spew are so over the top and funny, it's hard to get grossed out. But that's why you go see these movies, to laugh. Ideally, for a midnight show with 10 of your friends. I mean, where else are you going to see Sofia Vergara with a strap on crotch machine gun. And, here other gun, that fires from her bra? Or Lady Gaga as a hot rod driving bimbo trying to take out Machete. Or Amber Heard playing Miss San Antonio, but she's also an undercover CIA agent. There are lots and lots of gratuitous scenes with hot babes in leather bikinis with guns, including Michelle Rodriguez. She just HAD to be in this, and of course, Antonio Banderas too. Throw in some souped up cars and even space ships, this could be a tribute to those fabulous early Russ Myers films. Even fans of "Spy Kids" may remember Alexa Vega, who was a tween in that 2001 film. In "Machete" she is ironically reunited with Trejo (also in "Spy Kids") where she plays a murdering prostitute. "Machete" is not as good as "Death Proof" and "Planet Terror", but still, lots of fun and laughs.

Jonathan Clarke for Shelli Sonstein

 

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